Wednesday, October 10, 2007

help!

Wanted: a cure for ripple mania (vagusfacerephilia ad absurdum).

Symptoms: an obsessive desire to crochet undulating lines.

In the early stages of the disease victims tend to use only one yarn (albeit a multi-coloured one) per item.

As the mania takes hold, the victim will progress to using 2 or 3 subtle shades.

In later stages of the disease even more colours and curious fringes may be added.

In extreme cases victims may be observed hand-painting yarns and introducing clashing/70s-inspired colour shcemes:

(these extreme examples produced by patient CK between 07/10/07 and 10/10/07)

causes: uncertain, but may include: exposure to 200 Ripple Stitches by Jan Eaton; hanging out with knitters; the desire to do something relaxing and meditative without all the faff of meditating.

diagnosis: a tentative diagnosis of ripple mania may be confirmed by viewing the patient's notebook on Ravelry.

prognosis: we dread to think...

4 comments:

Anne said...

Treatment: There is no known treatment (as yet), however, although potentially distressing to people around the patient, this condition does not substantially impact on the patient's ability to perform his (or, as has been observed in such cases, more generally (but not always) her) day-to-day duties. To this end the patient should be gently monitored. It is unusual for the 'products' of the condition to become overwhelming as potential recipients, whether named or general, are usually seen as part of the condition's etiology. Although in extreme cases the condition becomes permanent, with most patients it passes (often to be replaced by other similarly benign conditions) after a few months.

Liz said...

OMG I think I've got this. Mine manifests itself in the form of ripple chevronitis.

Due to a medicinal visit to the healing powers of the knitting and stitching show tomorrow, my condition will, I fear, get a whole lot worse before it ever gets better. I may have to learn to live with it. Poor me :(

jayne said...

Oh dear, sounds like you've got it bad!

Karen said...

I have that book at the top of my Amazon wishlist. I almost braved the city at its busiest to see if I could lay my hands on an 'immediate' copy in a bookshop, and find somewhere to buy a crochet hook. I was even seen consulting mildewed copies of The Encyclopedia of Crafts (c. 1976) for instructions on ripple patterns. I predict a pandemic.....