6.05pm and our judge is rudely awoken from a nap. He is given his fee (he asked me if I could scan and enlarge some pictures from his childhood) and then given the pattern and captions. "Too crude". "Knitted moustache?". "What's Grecian 2000?". "Who's Jason King?" and suddenly a large grin spreads across his face. "This one", he said
"Hmmm, next time I go for a Brazilian, I think he'd better come too...."
And so, I hereby declare that Monkee Maker is the winner! Embarassingly, I've just won a prize in a draw on her blog but Graham was blisfully unware of that. We have, however, subsequently done a lucky dip of all the other entries, and I hereby declare Jayne as runner up. I'm about to email both of you for your snail mail addresses.
And thanks to everyone who took part, there's been quite a bit of giggling as I've found the comments in my in-box.
ps Graham (who has been consulting Style magazine, a publication that those of you who live in Cambridge will know well) tells me that "a Brazilian takes 15 minutes and a Hollywood takes 30 minutes". At this point (knowing more about Jason King and Grecian 2000 than about the waxing of ladies' nether regions) I had to ask the difference. I wish I hadn't!